I Feel…

I feel…lost

I feel…sad

I feel…angry

I feel…hurt

I feel…ignored

I feel…unheard

I feel…used

I feel…neglected

I feel…worried

I feel… overwhelmed

I feel… overworked

I feel…taken for granted

I feel…gross

I feel… unwanted

I feel… wrathful

I feel…bitter

I feel…tired

I feel…alone.

Mostly, I just feel. I feel my own emotions, but others’ emotions that surround me merge with mine. It’s exhausting, all this feeling. I feel alone because, no matter how loudly I yell, no matter how much I kick and scream, it seems that no one is listening. Everyone and everything else is just far more important than pathetic little me. Yes, that actually sounds pathetic, it isn’t. It’s sarcastic, the pathetic little me part, but even sarcasm is lost on folks these days. I often wonder what people think they see when they look at me. Maybe I’m that quiet, dutiful, ever present soul- you know…the one that is reliable, dependable…until one day they just SNAP. I feel like I have about reached that breaking point. I’m tired…just so tired. I’m tired of stupidity, of ignorance, of having to explain myself to people, of having to be the person who is always expected to change who I am for everyone else’s comfort. I am sick of feeling outcast, lied to, stabbed in the back constantly, and made to feel incompetent in other people’s eyes. I am not inferior, but I am sick of other people acting as though they have the right to walk on me. It’s old. It’s past old. It’s so old, and I feel tired. This has to end. This WILL end.

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