Time: A Story of Too Little

It’s true that time is precious, and also fleeting. It’s also true that, no matter how much we think we can “make time” for things, we truly can’t. For instance, I have resolved myself to the understanding that, despite my best intentions, this blog takes a back burner to the incessant barrage of crap that I deal with on a daily basis. I often find myself thinking about writing, and yet I lose motivation for one simple reason: I’m just damn tired!!  As a mom who works 40 hours plus a week, I can tell you that my work doesn’t end with the shedding of work clothes. The mere act of shedding work clothes is a reminder of the load of laundry that awaits yonder, followed by the cries of hungry baby birds that mama should have kicked from the nest long ago. Some days I marvel at my own abilities to even remember to feed myself, let alone remember the mountainous list of tasks to be completed.  I fall into bed exhausted, mostly wishing for at least one more hour of sleep than what I know I’ll get.  Oh yes, time is definitely relevant. I remind myself daily that my time is running out, and this is made obvious by the multiple signs of aging around me. Even if I completely overlook the gray hair, wrinkles that are developing, and the fact that I move a little slower most mornings, I only need to look around me to see that time has changed so much in my life. I sometimes struggle to see the point of things. I drive myself crazy, live with stress and pain, work hard, and for what? Just so my time clock can run out completely, and then what? What is the purpose of any of it? Is it all time well spent, or has my time been wasted? I guess, ultimately, I wonder whether, in the grand scheme of things, I have chosen to spend my time wisely. I would imagine it’s a struggle I share with many. All I know is that I will never have enough time. No matter what I choose to do, I cannot “make time”, I cannot “borrow time”, and I cannot get back the time I have already spent. There will always be too little time, and as I march forth, it simply gets less and less. It’s the inevitability of all things, as what begins must also end. Just some early morning musings from a soul that awoke and couldn’t find a path back to Dreamland. 

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