Clutter Induced Claustrophobia

Sometimes when I look around myself, I find it difficult to breathe.  It’s true what they say.  No matter what size space you occupy, you will eventually fill it.  Six years ago, when I moved into an empty house, and I wondered if I had enough stuff to make it look lived in, the house looked huge.  Now, I look around myself and think that I need a bigger box!!  It’s hard to imagine how much one person can accumulate in six years, and yet it is even harder to imagine parting with any of it.  Not that I NEED all of the stuff I have collected, but it’s MINE.  Don’t misunderstand me, I have watched Hoarders on television.  My house is nowhere stuffed full to that extent, and I sincerely doubt it ever would be.  I’m already claustrophobic enough!!  I cannot even fathom the possibility of narrow walkways and trip hazards in my home, and when I have viewed those types of situations it made me ill.  It’s a very real thing, hoarding, and something that all of us are capable of, even on smaller scales.  I only have to open my “junk drawers” to see the guiltiness of keeping things for which I have no need.  My inner voice literally SCREAMS at me:  “THROW IT AWAY!!!”, and yet it stays in the stupid drawers to be ignored for another few months at a time.  I think part of the difficulty in decluttering is the constant feel of never being rested.  I work, I sleep, I work, I sleep…and so it goes.  Who wants to spend hours upon hours getting rid of things on a day off??  Seriously…that’s WORK!  Doesn’t the very term “day off” denote REST??  Yes, I am aware that it is a very different type of work, but it’s sometimes hard to motivate oneself to do what must be done.  The sheer sight of the clutter can be overwhelming, and then the anxiety of dealing with it can be a deterrent to accomplishing the goal.  I think my inner self is aware that I would feel MUCH better if I just buckled down and got it taken care of, but….well…..yes, I understand that excuses are aplenty.  I guess there is only one thing left to do.  And so…without further ado…here I plunge headfirst into the declutterfication process.  And yes, that is now my new word for the day:  Declutterfication.  If that is what must be done so that one can breathe, embark upon this very journey I must!  And away I go……

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