Wide Awake and Dreamwalking

Anxiety hasn’t been a good friend to me, and the idea of taking a pill to control it has been a foreign one to me.  I’ll be honest, it seems that we have all become a nation of pill poppers.  There’s a pill for literally EVERYTHING nowadays, from your limp and soggy apparatus, to your non-existent libido, to your roller coaster mood swings.  Let’s face it- pharmaceutical companies make claims to cure ALL.  To say that I was skeptical is putting it mildly.  I don’t put much stock into what other people say anymore.  Other people have thought the world was flat in the past, and I know they were completely wrong.  However, living in a constant haze and glaze isn’t fun.  It’s kind of like being wide awake and dreamwalking.  Most days I felt like I was going through motions on autopilot.  My movements had become as autonomous as breathing.  My fear, of course, was that medication would make me even more robotic.  I’m quickly finding that that is not the case, but I’m not going to be so quick to endorse medicating one’s self.  Let’s say that I’m still in a “wait and see” mode.  While I do feel a bit more well rested, and I feel a lot less foggy, I am also aware of subtle changes in my thought patterns.  Change isn’t an easy thing, and it can make one feel a bit uncomfortable at times, but I’m giving these changes an opportunity to grow on me.  No more dreamwalking, and definitely no more floating through my days on clouds.  Perhaps I’ll finally be able to keep my feet on the ground.

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